Miles From Nowhere

Cartoons that should have been made in the 80's

2012-02-07T00:48:00.001-05:00

Although just an animation project currently, I have high hopes that this will be made into a full-length feature. It's too good not to be.

A valuable lesson

2012-02-01T00:03:00.001-05:00

My mother is ridiculous.

2012-02-01T00:02:00.000-05:00

Of course that doesn't mean I love her any less, but she gets carried away sometimes, I fear. Perhaps her worries become compounded when she starts interacting with her beau, and together they scry into a future filled with mishap and misfortune? One can only guess...

What is certain is that as she gets older she gets more concerned with the ability of objects to survive the many perils of shipping. Shipping: the dangerous but necessary evil that must be overcome in order to send objects from one place to another. And Momsie likes to send things. You can see how it's a stress-filled existence!

I'll tell you this much, you can't trust those shipping people to not lose things, so you better well-label whatever it is that you're sending.

Why yes, that is a giant crate in my driveway.

Also, if you're shipping something... say an antique sewing machine, you should build a custom-made crate that is so well-constructed it could survive a bomb blast and still deliver its contents untarnished. This is not, I assure you, done out of love. It is done out of spite for those in the shipping industry that think that they can destroy our valuables!

Yes, it's much, much bigger than the door.

To my delight and Itinerant's dismay the crate was also stuffed full of my old comics and things. What a surprise! I evidently have many more of them than I had previously remembered. It could take years to read that many comics! (uh.....). I've had to be very careful with putting them into storage where Itinerant doesn't ever go. He loathes not throwing things away and comics that have been read fall squarely into that category of things.

The crate arrived in the midst of a freezing rain warning to make matters worse! We had to deconstruct it late at night to avoid all the contents being damaged by the oncoming torrent of wet. That rain soon turned to snow and we we've since been unable to move the silly thing! It's now a permanent obstacle in our driveway (note the banks left from our snow removal guy having to dodge it too).

Stay tuned for an glimpse of what was in the crate!

Fresh Snow

2012-01-22T15:13:00.001-05:00

We finally got some snow in PH! It turns out our front yard is rather lovely when freshly snowed in!

I should be in advertising

2012-01-19T20:25:00.000-05:00

Some more of the photos. I especially like how the one of me as an advertisement turned out. I guess I should be in advertising? I could watch with scorn the world over as people choose stupid products for their stupid lives (too bitter?).

Some Photos I Made One Day

2012-01-19T20:23:00.000-05:00

One day, while bored, I made some fun photos using Photofunia software. Here are some of my favourites.

Homosexual History

2012-01-19T18:18:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'll bite. This one's been going around Facebook lately, and being as I use this blog as an external memory device from time to time, I thought it best to post this video here. Also, you know... I need to be sharing my thoughts more on here in general (so I've been told). So here you go a video on the progress that's been made wrt gay rights.

Year's best B-boys!

2012-01-09T09:44:00.002-05:00

Dang but I wish I could do even one of these tricks. I'd probably be really irresponsible and pull it out when I met people. Kind of like, they go to shake your hand and you pump fake them with a back flip that turns into a windmill and ends with a one armed bouncing handstand. That's how I'd roll. I bet you I'd have people that would just wait in the wings and send people to meet me just to catch a glimpse of my awesomeness. Watch the video to get an idea of how great I'd be.

Getting Excited for the Hobbit

2012-01-09T09:41:00.000-05:00

The recent release of The Hobbit trailer has me all fired up for all things Peter Jackson again. In looking for a new way to show my enthusiasm, I came across a sweded version of The Fellowship of the Ring. Pure fan-tastic madness!

Prickly Cuteness

2011-11-30T15:33:00.001-05:00

I loves me some cuteness, specially when said cuteness is unexpected and full of personality.

Animation makes my head spin round

2011-11-30T15:15:00.001-05:00

Turns out that this is the perfect development then, yes? Pedal your bike to get the wheel turning at a certain speed and voila your wheel animates! I can think of a million ways that this should be dolled out to the public. Watch, and feel 10 again.

Say Vagina Again

2011-11-15T07:00:00.001-05:00

If you could see me, I'm impersonating Samuel Jackson in Pulp Fiction right now.

And then this happened...
<br><br>faFavourite quote, "Make sure you're not introducing, like, 50 million different penises into your vagina over the year." Sound advice... thank you.

To Infinity And Beyond!

2011-11-14T10:26:00.001-05:00

NASA has been releasing a consistent stream of high quality media over the past several weeks. I thought I would share one of my new favourites showing time-lapse video taken from a satellite as it soars above the planet. Check out the aurora borealis!

Earth | Time Lapse View from Space, Fly Over | NASA, ISS from Michael König on Vimeo.

Another view

2011-11-13T21:46:00.000-05:00

Another view, for those who are interested.

Uncreative Process

2011-11-13T21:44:00.000-05:00

Itinerant is constantly trying to tell me that he's not very creative and that he's just not crafty. And then, when my guard is sufficiently down, he pulls out a surprise like he did this weekend.

Perhaps that's all part of his master plan... He is, after all, quite sneaky, and dare I say, calculating.

Suffice it to say, he went and made quite an artistic statement this weekend. He created a mosaic of images to cover a large wall in our house that has been lacking in furnishment for some time now.

I must say I'm pretty proud of him!

So Handsome!

2011-11-09T21:09:00.000-05:00

Itinerant's aunt is taking an art course and decided that she wanted to draw someone good looking as her portrait study. Naturally she thought of Itinerant and came up with this:

From November 9, 2011

Amazing. I can't wait until she sends it to us! I shall frame it and hang it, I shall.

Don't ask me where I find this stuff...

2011-10-26T09:58:00.000-04:00

In preparation for the next America's Next Top Model, I think Itinerant and Marlito should watch this.

Work! Beat! Fierce! Style!

Let's do the fork in the garbage disposal!

Campus surprise

2011-10-13T22:46:00.001-04:00

My favorite stop sign on campus. Yes... There is more than one awesome stop sign.

What's in a name?

2011-10-11T18:55:00.000-04:00

Found this in the archives today:

Reading on Facebook today, a friend of mine, The Storyteller, related to her audience a little gem that was too good not to share with others. It also happened to be a well-timed feature on what's in a name.

This coincides with another story I was told yesterday of a man who decided, after being told in a dream (and it surely must have been a fever dream) that he should change his name to Seven. I love this idea so much I want to take it to the next level. And so I went to bed thinking about it. I may have dreamed about it, but since I never remember my dreams, it's anybody's guess.

Anyway, I've decided that my last name is tired of being cast in shadows. And so I think it should be first when I introduce myself. Something like Bond, James Bond... only without the followup name.

I also think that it should be a different name. I like the idea of it being a powerful idea like a large number. Bigger than seven even. Twice as big!

So, it is with great pride that I reveal here, for the first time, that my name shall now be Fourteen Kilometres. It's like a challenge that most people can't meet. Can you run Fourteen Kilometres? Probably not. Sure some people can, but it's important that I'm not too powerful! I still want to be approachable by the common person, right?

Daily Inspirations?

2011-10-06T14:28:00.001-04:00

I just wish I could stumble upon something this beautiful every day.

Sit back and let it sweep over you.

Sometimes I miss Javier Lawlor...

2011-09-22T09:41:00.000-04:00

But I think it's because I miss the people that would frequently find their way to our door. Come back and visit soon, dear friends!

She can walk, she can drink, but she can't do both!

Not really sure what happened here...

Against his better judgment, Itinerant continues with the wine...

Hurry up and become a doctor so you can move closer again!!

Nasty* out of focus, post-marathon driving Taskmaster.

*where nasty denotes a state of mind and not a reference to her desirability**

**this may have been written exclusively for Taskmaster.

Baby-rama 2011 continues!

2011-09-22T09:05:00.002-04:00

A good number of the people in our life are now having babies. We're in that time of life, I suppose. There have been many moments of excitement and showers and cute wrinkly human photos throughout the past several months.

Recently Itinerant and I had the fortune of meeting Dr. Fantastic and Slowpitch's new bean. She was awfully tiny and cute and wrinkly and we thoroughly enjoyed our time with her. I enjoyed it so much I forgot to photograph her when I had the chance!

On our second meeting some weeks later, I nabbed a shot of her with Itinerant and then with Slowpitch. Delightful! Note how much hair she already has! At mere minutes out of the gate she had more hair than L.L.Bean!

Fantasitmini! Babytastic?

Even when fussing... adorable! That's a hard skill to master!

Unfortunately Dr. Fantastic and Slowpitch have moved to SF because he has obtained a post doc (see his namesake for reasons). He has encouraged us to come an visit soon, describing the city as "Even more gay that you can imagine." I don't know, Dr. Fantastic... I can imagine a lot of gay.

She's a natural!

The New Rick Perry Movie

2011-09-22T08:50:00.000-04:00

I haven't been able to figure out when it comes out yet, but I know I'll be standing in line when it finally comes out. It looks EPIC!!

At least we know what Michael Bay has been up to after Transformers 3.

Coaching Cruise

2011-09-21T09:52:00.000-04:00

Before leaving Toronto I was asked to join some peers on a coaching cruise where we talked about the future of coaching together while on the water. We enjoyed a lovely meal, and honoured one of the most influential coaches in the field with a special award for her contributions. It was a lovely afternoon. Below are some of my favourite shots from that adventure.

The boat provided bubble makers to the passengers to pass the time. I took to standing down wind from them and incorporating them into the photos I was taking.

Birthday Beauty

2011-09-20T19:29:00.000-04:00

Waiting for dinner on his birthday...

This ish is brazay!

2011-09-20T18:07:00.000-04:00

Or something like that. Either way, check out these moves! Superheroes... they walk among us!!

Too small or too big?

2011-09-16T11:10:00.000-04:00

L.L.Bean seems to have a fascination with clothes that are too big for him. Here he's seen wearing my hat. He also had quite the fascination with shoes that were too big, though that seems to not have been captured on film.

Dig it!

I am HUUUGE!

A French Wedding! Or: Ou Est Ma POUTANG!?

2011-09-16T11:04:00.001-04:00

An old friend of Itinerant's finally found the guy he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and decided to get married! Said guy was french, and so to accommodate his family coming from across the globe, they held the wedding in Montreal. Oh, and we were invited too!

With our move to Port Hope (pictures will come eventually, I swear!) we were even closer to my favourite city in North America, Montreal. Every time I'm there I find a new reason to love it more. This time the reasons were many. There was gay weddings, Old Montreal, and the St. James Hotel... just to name a few!

Interestingly, this was actually my first gay wedding! It was something to behold! Really it was just the same as a straight wedding, only fewer dresses (to the surprise of some, I'm sure). The wedding was at city hall, just down the block from our hotel. Thank goodness for that! Those summer weddings are moider in a suit! Thankfully I kept from melting before we traversed the small distance to get to the venue!

Inside there was a placard with all the weddings taking place that day and the corresponding rooms in which they occurred. There were three floors of weddings that day in 6 rooms and at regularly spaced intervals (something like 30 minutes). They were pumping through the married folk like some sort of marrying machine! (second choice was machine of love... thoughts?)

The Grooms at the front of the room with the JOP

Soon after the ceremony began, Groom #1 tried to say his vows, but was so overcome that he became seriously ferclemped. So many people had come to support him, he was allowed to do this, and he was marrying his love; we had to wait the necessary dramatic pause for him to swallow all that love and excitement back down to his belly where it might better serve him. Love and excitement have a way of making your voice do funny things. For example, when I asked Itinerant if he would marry me, it came out kind of like a forceful racetrack speed yell, "WILL-YOU-MARRY-ME?" instead of a tender moment. Perhaps it was both, if that's even possible. Such a display would likely be as inappropriate in an exchange of vows as it was in a wedding proposal! So as I said... we waited.

I just wanna....hrrrrrm...

And just like that, over the obtrusively-loud canned music that made us in the back miss nearly everything, they were married and allowed to kiss. Fun times!

Shapow! Married!

We were ushered out into the lobby and left to the strangely formed receiving line-type mosh pit that happens when a crowd is moved from one space to another with no discernible plan. Naturally I pretended to be zombie... of LOVE!

Brains! I love your BRAINS!

Soon, however, Groom #2 (the french one) took charge and corralled everyone to take them to a park for the photo ops. We dutifully followed.

As we were walking, I notice this young woman just to the side of us. Really it was impossible not to notice her, there was a trail of turned heads and visible steam everywhere she went! Honestly, she was wearing the sexiest yet most tasteful dress I have EVER seen. I would write a song about it if I could, though unlike Marlito, my song writing leaves much to be desired.

The dress was jersey knit, which I thought you couldn't make anything out of beside T-shirts, but the designer proved me wrong. Said designer made a tube for the bottom, and then took the top, turned it into a clever draping scarf that went around her neck, and Voila! Instant hotness. (And somehow a dress.)

I don't know how the top stayed where it was supposed to, though. For sure there had to have been garment tape involved. How else would things stay keep from flying out!? For sure I saw sideboob while she moved around, and at one point I thought I saw light peeking through between the dress and her front by her belly. Madness I tell you! I couldn't take my eyes off of her!

Yes, he knows he's the luckiest guy at the wedding.

Soon everyone was gathered at the pretty little park with a beautiful building as backdrop. There were several other weddings competing for all the photo ops, but we still found a way to fit in!

Love, embrace, photo!

Seriously, whatever Toronto did to lose all the buildings that may have looked like this, it is a terrible shame! It was really hard to take a photo without a super cool background here. I'm not entirely sure I succeeded. Every photo seemed to work out great!

Well hello there!

After taking the obligatory family shots, the grooms were hurried up some stairs for some cool-ass dais shots.

Oh us? Yeah, we're just chillin' here. Soaking up some rays... gettin' hitched...

Snorfle!

Some of the boys from Toronto.

Romeo? Oh Romeo! Where for..Oh nevermind it's Itinerant.

Following the photo taking we headed to an amazing venue for the party. It was a wedding party unlike anything I've been to. The music was PHENOMENAL! Everyone was up dancing and having a great time.

It's about to get hot in here!

Libations flowed freely and before we knew what we were doing, we were taking the gift from the grooms to each attendee (a fashion scarf) and engaging in exploits that would not normally have happened. To wit: Itinerant's fashion turban.

Electric sizzle and fashionista flair.

Bitch, don't even try my. I'll blue steel your pants off.

In this photo: winning.

The cake was an amazing tower of caramel (real caramel, mind you) profiteroles. It was sublime. Easily the best wedding cake I've ever had.

These are not Tim Bits. Don't call them that or someone will remove you.

As I mentioned the venue was astounding. The building was an old stone building in Old Montreal, and the decor was out of this world. For instanced, A large lamp was constructed, that spanned the room. This lamp was so large because, well... it was made from two headless bodies of moose. And where their heads would be upon meeting? A lightbulb of course.

It's a metaphor for loving a stranger right?

Further exploring revealed a grass covered merry-go-round that was forgotten about later in the evening, much to my disappointment. How fun/ sick inducing could this have been. Hmm, on second thought, perhaps leaving it be was a good thing... (see below).

Stop that ride, I need to get on!

Elsewhere were end tables, attached to the wall over our heads. This was clearly the best place for them.

One leg is a hoof; that makes it edgy.

A giant whale spine decorated the entrance. I overheard some of the other guests denigrating this, and for a moment was tempted to tell them to shut their filthy faces and to respect the obvious homage to the future of the plant when the ice caps melt and the whales become our masters, but thought better of it. I'll save the respect of our cetacean betters for myself thank-you-very-much!

The unrelenting power and magnificence of a whale!

Eventually the night wore down and we were forced to retire. This was not before Itinerant encouraged many of the wedding guests, including random strangers to engage in Jaeger bombs with him. This was also not before he accosted not one but two women with the following, "I hate to be that gay guy, but I have to tell you that dress you are wearing is simply amazing!"

Entertaining sidenote, Itinerant has been known to be an over-sharer when inebriated. It makes me deliriously happy when it happens because I know it will always be a good story the next day. The best part is that always starts off rocky (i.e., I hate to be that gay, or I know what it's like to have a mom who is crazy... that sort of thing).

But back to the dress issue. Because I very much have to tell you that I want to make friends with some French people so that they can be invited to my wedding! The women were all so fabulously stylish and well put together. It was, how do you say, incroixable!! Three cheers for French fashion!

With random accosting of strangers well underway, it was not long until Itinerant decided he needed to profess his love of the DJ to the DJ as well. The man was commended for keeping everyone so well entertained, but also for bringing it! Man he was good. I high fived him and told him he was the best DJ I'd ever experienced at a wedding. No hyperbole there. Just capital T truth.

We decided to leave on that high note, and commended the grooms, said our goodbyes and headed out into the dark of Old Montreal with one thing on our minds: Sleep!

Or was that poutine? No, it was clearly poutine. Itinerant wanted fries and gravy and cheese, and he wanted it NOW!! He began bellowing about, "Ou est ma poo-TAIN!", growing louder and more belligerent with each call.

Somehow it was my fault that the wedding hadn't served this tasty french-inspired snack to the guests! "Ou est ma poo-TANE!?" It was my fault that the local shops in Old Montreal were neither open at 3 in the morning, nor were serving poutine. "Ou est ma POO-TENG?!"

The transformation was gradual, but nevertheless noticeable. We arrived at the St. James Hotel with half the party in near hysterics. There were still no tasty french fries with gravy and curds in our bellies. Action had to be taken. Itinerant approached the front desk.

"I'm so sorry, but could you answer a question for me?"

"What are you sorry about? Just ask your question." I interjected.

A dismissive hand wave, "I will. I am!" He redirected his attention back to the cute and exceedingly patient young woman behind the counter. "But can you tell us whether room service would be able to get us some poo-tang?"

An uncomfortable silence filled the lobby. The woman had no idea what was being asked, or at least didn't want to knowing that Itinerant was now actively asking for Thai hookers.

"Poo-teen" I countered quickly to break the potential need for a call to emergency services. "We wondered if we could get poo-teen from room service"

From the background: "That's what I said! Poo-TANG!"

"No I'm sorry, we don't have that." she replied ever-so-politely.

"And is there anywhere in the area that we can get it?" I pursued.

"No, I'm afraid not."

"Thank you. We'll take our key and be going to bed then"

From the background: "Whas your problem, man?"

We headed up to our room, where hunger overwhelmed Itinerant and he frantically looked through the room service menu for food he could order. All he could find was a Montreal smoked meat sandwich which was immediately ordered. I headed to bed.

The food arrived sometime later after I'd fallen asleep, but the smell woke me. Itinerant carelessly placed the food on the bed behind me. I rolled over, luckily ending with my face near the plate and began hoovering fries into my gullet. Soon bereft of fries to hoover, I then rolled back over and continued sleeping. A perfectly timed and placed snack!

Our morning venture to the post wedding brunch was harder to reach than we would have wanted. Upon arrival we joined several friends from the previous evening and gnoshed delicious bits from one of the largest buffets I have ever partaken in. Zounds it was good!

What wasn't good was when one of the guests at our table stopped to talk and poured syrup from her plate down my back, into my backpack and all over the floor and chair behind me. How she managed to get that much syrup to stay on her plate in the first place is beyond me, but my backpack is forever marked with white sugary goodness as a result (and the one pocket is discoloured from so much syrupy onslaught).

Brunch ended after too many cups of coffee and we decided it was best to head out. We had to pick up Hostess and L.L.Bean on our way out of the city, after all. Their arrival back into Canada from a summer in Nepal corresponded to our departure from Montreal. How convenient! Photos from that visit will follow shortly I hope!

Thanks again Montreal! I hope to be back soon to purchase your wares once more! (p.s. we found amazing art while there that one day we hope to hang in the Coach house!)

For the dining room...one day

Seriously, how friggin' awesome are these?!

Random Finds in PH #2: Disgruntled Flyer

2011-09-14T13:55:00.000-04:00

Clearly the flyer distributor in this neighbourhood gets paid per delivery.
"Screw you and your requests to be left alone! I'll show you the sales at the nearest stores anyway! I'm bringing you value!"

Suspiciously shadow puppet-like

2011-09-13T23:27:00.001-04:00

During a recent trip to Toronto to ride on a tall ship we also happened to meet up with Chaz and Marlito. And by happened to, I mean planned.

Anyway, while looking for a place to grab a drink we found this sign. Doesn't it look like an attack shadow puppet dog?

Yeah, I think so!

They stopped pretending!

2011-09-13T15:51:00.000-04:00

In Peterborough they stopped pretending to be different stores!

Some People Love Ultimate More Than I Do

2011-09-06T23:28:00.002-04:00

Those people that write Ultimate Love Songs would be counted among those people. This song is so righteous. I am going to memorize it and sing it all weekend at the Ultimate finals!

Oh that's where they went!

2011-09-06T18:08:00.004-04:00

For Gnat: Where did the dinosaurs go?

Random Finds in Toronto # 31: Cool yourself down!

2011-09-02T01:26:00.001-04:00

A random self-bolstering refrigerator was wearing this the other day. It made me think that the fridge had some particularly good self-esteem. It was also likely that this meant that the food inside would taste particularly delicious as well.

Also to my Ultimate teammates (which is why I found this note, after an extraordinary late season win followed by the best post-Ultimate BBQ in history including marinated vegetables wrapped in cedar bark, steak, iced cider, cheese plate, wine, beer, chips, corn on the cob, bacon wrapped scallops, ceder plank salmon, espresso accompanied with chocolate squares, fresh fruit, salad with homemade dressing and fresh bread and butter...) but back to the team! You complete me.

An Easy Decision

2011-09-02T01:25:00.000-04:00

The short list for who would be our gas distributor in Port Hope was not a very long one. The choice was clear. Union Gas had double rainbow powers. We wanted them.

Interesting side note: Careful viewers might notice that the leftward rainbow has another rainbow inside it. Yeah, that's right, that makes this a triple rainbow. Zam! If we had thought to videotape, we could have been an internet video-response meme...

Random Finds in Montreal #462: A true sign of Kwality.

2011-09-02T01:24:00.000-04:00

This little fella was a random find in Montreal this past weekend when we stayed at the St. James Hotel. Yeah, this is a decoration in a high-end quality hotel. What you can't tell?

Nothing says Kwality like a porcelain bar dog. What? You think it looks like something that belongs in one of those musty smelling flea markets that's run by people who over-value everything they own and sweep the dirt off of the disintegrating cement floors? Yeah, that's where I expected to find it too. I mean really! Look at this thing! Really look at it. The dog has fruits painted on it and is holding it's own chain (shameless reason to add bling, clearly).

This couldn't be uglier if it tried -- and it's trying to be ugly, that much is clear. I wanted to steal it and ugly gift it to someone it was so ghastly. Instead I took a photo because I didn't want to be billed several hundred dollars for this beast.

Enjoy this travesty, but enjoy even more that I couldn't take it and gift it to you when you least expected it!

Ginger Safe House!

2011-09-02T01:16:00.000-04:00

Catherine Tate does it again!

I found a channel of hers on YouTube and have been sniggering to myself since! So funny. To see the videos you'll need to go to the original post of this on my blog. Make sure you do, it's well worth it.

Also, I'm pretty sure that this is what Itinerant's kids would be like if I wasn't involved... :P

An Empty House, Full of Memories

2011-08-23T23:59:00.000-04:00

Itinerant and I made our last stop at Javier Lawlor two weekends past. The stop was full of cleaning and those final touches that seem to take forever. But we were determined to leave Lawlor in better shape that we inherited the Coach House (more on that later). We weeded the garden, cleaned the floors, and managed to get everything into what we thought was a relatively decent departing order.

The now empty house looked eerie, yet somehow it retained certain elements of its personality. We had a lot of fun building into this house. It was a crazy two year stint full of visitors, construction and plaster dust, challenges and upheaval.

We both finished our degrees and went through some of our darkest times here: Itinerant through articling, me, my PhD defense.

But at the same time the work we put into this house reflects what was going on in our lives. Through these challenges we discovered what really mattered to us and how we want to live our lives. We invested heavily in ourselves over these past two years and legitimately feel as though we are both coming into our own. We both have a lot to offer as a result. We are moving on up!

I couldn't be more proud of what we accomplished while living in this house, and I look forward with anticipation at what will come for us in the future. If we could make this accomplish so much in the face of so much tumult and uncertainty I can't imagine what lays ahead for us in our new home.

And so we leave behind Javier Lawlor and the wilds of Toronto for a Coach House and the quiet life in Port Hope. We hope that people will continue to visit as much as they did when we were in Toronto! It was a regular schedule of distinguished guests that we hope continues!

Good bye Javier Lawlor! Thank you for all that you've given us and allowed us to do while we stayed with you. You were an amazing first home and you allowed us to achieve our dreams.

Goodbye Javier Lawlor

2011-08-14T15:17:00.001-04:00

We finally got the last bits out! What a crazy thing moving is! Just when you think you've gotten the house ready, you find more.

Well today we cleaned the place, got the gardening stuff and finally left.

You were a good house Javier. Thank You!!

Chandeliers on the Brain

2011-07-20T11:02:00.001-04:00

Itinerant and I are looking for a chandelier to finish off the dining room in The Coach House. Currently we think this one is leading the way.

So Proud!

2011-07-14T18:13:00.000-04:00

So proud of Itinerant's achievments in such a short time! He's a pretty amazing guy!

Photography fans, brace yourself!

2011-07-10T17:47:00.000-04:00

A self-professed photography fan, Hilleke has assembled two eye-popping lists of landmarks from around the world that she wanted to share with others.
If you like your eyes to be entertained, check out 50 of the Most Important Landmarks and 50 of the Most Famous Landmarks.

Favourite Moments from PRIDE

2011-07-07T22:47:00.000-04:00

While not my photo directly, this picture that was sent to me never ceases to sent me into fits of hysterical laughter. Such a beautiful moment!

The glory involved in this photo comes after you've stared at it for a moment...

Embarrassing Fashion Choices

2011-07-05T17:43:00.000-04:00

Rawr Hot and Giraffe came into Toronto to meet us for dinner to celebrate Itinerant and my engagement. I was mortified when I realized I showed up wearing the same hot colour from this season as Giraffe! We rumbled in the back alley after I made him and Rawr Hot drink sake that they didn't enjoy.

On a good news note, we took them to Gyu Izakawa which may be the best value restaurant in Toronto. Sooo good and so cheap!

PRIDE in Toronto

2011-07-05T17:27:00.000-04:00

For the second year, I attended the PRIDE parade in Toronto. This year, Itinerant was actually not out of the city, making it his first time in Toronto in perhaps 5 years. We decided to go to the parade with our friends Free Bird and Orff who had come from the wilds of Burlington to visit. They will have the pleasure of being some of the last house guests for Javier Lawlor!

Anyway, somehow we managed to find a tree that we camped out under. We were on a sidestreet where the parade started meaning that we didn't get everything that happened since the parade merged from two sides, but we were just fine with that. The blistering sun was too much to handle that day and we got to see loads nonetheless!

Enjoy the slideshow!

Random Finds in Toronto #30 Think it Through

2011-07-05T17:19:00.002-04:00

Lawlass would have something to say to these people, I'd wager. I mean, did no one along the way see that this company name was potentially problematic?

Company Motto: We make crap you'll never forget!!

Random Finds in Toronto #29 It's a Steal!

2011-07-05T17:16:00.002-04:00

I don't care who you are. I don't care if you're the world's greatest salesman, this is friggin' ridiculous. Strangely, this car remains in the neighbourhood. They just can't seem to find the right buyer it seems.

Guesses on the asking price?

I Speedwalk like a Legend

2011-06-26T14:09:00.000-04:00

Years after my much-maligned retirement, people still talk about my speedwalking prowess. I get letters requesting I share my technique. I go to the grocery store and back for milk in 2 minutes!

Behold my swiftly falling step!

"Take That Skeletor!"

2011-06-25T10:57:00.000-04:00

"Take that Skeletor!"

Today's over-intense dream featured me battling Skeletor to the death.

Clearly outmatched, I was left with my "one-chance-in-a-million" strategy of a well placed blow to his lower back (obviously his weak spot), paralyzing him. He lept - high in the air with the Sword of Darkness

far above his head - bearing down on me. My plan was desperate and he knew it! He bowled me over easily. He stood over me, about to take my life but because he was Skeletor he had to gloat. I had my chance. I thrust my tiny handheld caveman rock into his exposed spine, separating it! He slumped to the ground unable to support his dreams of domination on two now-useless legs.

Skeletor was enraged! What kind of an evil Emperor of the Night was a paraplegic!? The Sword of Darkness darted to the right, its tip pointed at my throat. Just as I was about to pay for my insolence, a purple streak! Panthor moved in and in an instant crunched Skeletor's face. I was saved and Skeletor's evils had been banished!

(Special thanks to Panthor who I had previously coached to make more of himself. Because of his actions a segment of his fur and his story of redemption would be preserved for all time in "Eternia - A handbook of the Ages".)

No wining about this wine tour!

2011-06-16T00:02:00.001-04:00

See what I did there? I made a pun about... Nevermind.

I just wanted to share a wicked photo we took in Niagara a couple weekends back during a weekend reunion tour featuring the law school gang.

The times had were wicked awesome (which is to say, most enjoyable). We hit up several wineries and somehow scored a backroom tour and special tasting sample at one! Needless to say we bought a case at that winery!

Can you believe it, a case! It's Itinerant and my first case of wine; we're very excited about it! Said wine will age very nicely in the coachouse.

Humans are amazing!!

2011-06-15T10:01:00.000-04:00

Stumbled upon this today. I hope that Chaz sees this. It's a bio on Shane Perkins, a world-class cyclist and how his team maintains his body.

I love little infographics that they provide throughout. In particular, check out how many calories this dude burns!! It takes more to keep him alive in bed than us on a busy day! Wagh!

Failed Intellectuallism

2011-06-09T23:20:00.000-04:00

Toddy Boy recently posted some very interesting articles online that I had to read and then dissect and then share. They are written by a twenty-something Torontonian who has declared the need to be gay over and done with. We've been there done that, the problem has been solved.

It was dramatic if nothing else...

Unfortunately it was a whole lot more. First I'll give you the opportunity to read it.

Now that you're back, I would like to join you in a giant WTF moment. Really dude? We've solved the gay alienation thing? Prejudice is dead? The recent, It gets better campaign was apparently far to long since past for his memory to recall that it was instigated by the senseless deaths of a number of young gay men?

On my first reading, I didn't even digest the level of disappointment I now currently feel. He waxes invulnerable about having unprotected sex and living to tell the tale as though - look at that! - we've cured AIDS and homophobia! It's a pan-sexual paradise (don't forget that some gay guys sleep with women and need to brag about it because that makes them more of a man)! Forget that STI's are on the rise in young people, that it only takes one slip to live your life in regret and that HIV is not the only issue you might have to deal with after sleeping with someone.

But what I really found shocking was the blatant thread of homophobia and entitlement that followed the article's conclusion. I mean, hey, if I never experience any direct threat to my health or well-being as a result of my sexuality, then it must be so for everyone else. Why bother finding out others' perspectives? I guess recent statistics on LGBT youth being at risk of teen pregnancy, drug and alcohol abuse, inflicting self harm...

No. Unfortunately, there are far too many people (even here in the gayest city in the world) that still fear coming out, are not supported and are not welcome. Just because you've had parents that you don't need to talk to about your sexuality (is that even healthy, btw? Do they not have questions that need answering?) does not mean that you have gained universal acceptance. Far too many other readers have pointed out already that citing the freedom to cottage with your parents does little to bolster your case for life that follows a normal trajectory (or at least does little to indicate that you have the capacity to thoughtfully examine other people's perspective). It's a little more difficult to be persecuted when you are among the ruling class, and a lifestyle is handed to you.

Still there were interesting points in the article if for no other reason than to incite new dialogues about how the gay movement will progress (and not whether we need it). There is clearly a lot of work to be done if young people's view on what it means to be gay is that the problem is solved...

However, alternative viewpoints have surfaced. I was inspired to see the acidic and quickly formulated rebuttal from FAB appear to counter the voice of unreason. And although thoroughly steeped in anger, the writer nevertheless raises some very interesting and important points (though whether he gets them across is up for debate). I suggest reading in the comments section if you're really interested. It's worth a look to see what people are saying about the Post Gay era.

Facelift for Javier Lawlor

2011-06-03T20:30:00.000-04:00

Well it's been a long week of work, but we've finished! Javier Lawlor now has a new Face.

In this case, the facelift involves a new driveway, a new front walkway and a new contained garden.

The irony is that we agreed to do this before we were moving, so now we had to finish this work to sell the place. Grrrr! Anyway, I think it totally ups the street value / first impression of the place.

I'll post more photos when I am in front of my computer in a couple of days. For now... Enjoy the new Javier!

I was in the Globe and Mail

2011-05-30T11:07:00.002-04:00

Even better, I was in the Globe and Mail as a socialite! Bizzaro!

I had the pleasure of being asked to attend the function by a friend of mine and as chance would have it had my photo snapped by a photographer who happened upon me while there. I think I brought the mean age in the room down considerably.

Yeah, the Canadian Business Book Awards are for the young and aspiringly hip too!

What happens when I coach outside

2011-05-21T20:59:00.000-04:00

Stupid beautiful sunny weather!

A last minute addition to Javier Lawlor

2011-05-21T02:35:00.003-04:00

Storyteller was generous enough to allow me to negotiate an exchange for services with her for this painting. I mean, look at it! It's freaking amazing! I really think it was made for the basement of Javier Lawlor! I sure think it looks grand!

And look at how amazing it a makes the basement look! If you like what she does, I can hook you up ;)

The best part of coming home at three in the morning...

2011-05-14T03:15:00.001-04:00

By far the best part of coming home at 3 this morning from work was the early birthday present seen here.

When I wake up tomorrow I get nephew time!!

New Spring Tasting Menu

2011-05-11T10:34:00.000-04:00

The new spring tasting menu launched at The Watercraft last Friday. This is one of the mains on offer; sea bass with B.C. Spot Prawn and wild leek purée. Delicious!

A love note found in our house

2011-05-10T20:15:00.001-04:00

It appeared in the spare bedroom today.

Rand finds in Toronto #22

2011-05-07T02:35:00.001-04:00

A family of raccoons on my way home from work. Man, but they make strange noises.

McDonalds leading social innovation?

2011-04-18T21:41:00.001-04:00

Oh... it's a European McDonald's ad...

Still, pretty cool!

Okonamiyaki!

2011-04-13T16:36:00.001-04:00

The recent discovery of the Asian grocery store adventure-dome has at last given me what I need to make okonamiyaki! If you'd like to try it, you'll have to come and visit me.

Sugar-tastic!

2011-04-13T16:31:00.000-04:00

Sweet Tooth (a chef from work) made this sugar ornament for me. I gave it to the hosts of a dinner party that Itinerant and I attended this weekend.

The party was very fancy and entirely too delectable! on the off chance that the hosts read this... Thanks!!

Wooden Sounding Music

2011-04-11T18:55:00.000-04:00

Japan does it again! Almost like a musical Rube Goldberg machine?

Also, I'd love to have a real wood veneer on my phone. How rad would that be?

Nose job?

2011-04-08T14:48:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Chaz and his kneeling urinating pads I found a new way to reshape my nose. One wonders if the vibrations could be tunes to make a nose stick out less?

Gay Cavemen?

2011-04-08T12:09:00.003-04:00

Well not exactly, but archaeologists think that they may have found the remains of a gay male or transexual male. It's all based on how the individual was buried...

And a very important follow up, thanks to a friend on Facebook. This person took the time to say all the things I was thinking as I posted this.

Show me the Zombie!!

2011-04-01T09:20:00.000-04:00

Itinerant and I spent Sunday morning and part of the afternoon watching the entire series of Dead Set. It was recommended to us by Donkey Conga and Papillon's Heir (who just came to visit). It could be viewed as a potential predecessor to Walking Dead -- certainly thematic similarities abound -- but with a more powerful and biting social commentary.

The premise is that a Zombie invasion hits Britain while you watch from the lens of Big Brother contestants. It's really quite unique in it's storytelling and execution. I'd highly recommend it. You can watch it here! Aren't I nice for sharing?

Random Finds in Toronto #29: Source of tingle

2011-03-28T18:09:00.002-04:00

Ever had one of those food items where you just can't place what's going on on your mouth? Me neither, but at least we can rest safely knowing it's out there for that special day when we want to try that tingly liquid sensation. I'm pretty sure tingle flavour is best sold by a used car salesman, so at least the packaging makes sense...

Random Finds in Toronto #28: Ideal grocery store sections

2011-03-28T18:04:00.002-04:00

While Itinerant and I were at T&T for the third weekend in a row, I found this ideal section for any grocery store. Why doesn't everywhere have this?

Today's Awesome Post

2011-03-22T14:56:00.001-04:00

Brought to you by Ze Frank. A ladybug plays with sprinkles.

Zombies are the new black

2011-03-22T14:52:00.000-04:00

Zombies are everywhere lately. They're the new vampires and for those of us who were paying attention, vampires were the new black once gray gave up the ghost. (Ten points to you if you could follow that).

And so with the rise of the undead armies and their legions of fans I found this today. Zombies are cool but singing zombies? Even better.

It reminds me of one day in K/W when we went about the city pretending to be Zombies. Man, I wish I had those photos...

What Zombies have you been following lately?

Random finds in Toronto #27: monkey head!

2011-03-13T11:27:00.001-04:00

Found this at the Asian Grocery store yesterday. Now I have to find a way to cook them for Marlito...

Random Finds in Toronto #27: Disturbing Fashion Trends

2011-03-02T18:20:00.001-05:00

I found myself walking behind this on the street the other day.

Could it be a disturbing new fashion trend involving crocheted pubes?

Maybe I should have stopped her to let her know her fabulous scarf was embarrassing her...

Perhaps a little too happy?

2011-03-02T18:14:00.001-05:00

Itinerant's love for the chandelier seems to be bordering on the ridiculous. I'm not sure we need to be sleeping with the stupid thing on...

Itinerant's Greatest Gift

2011-03-02T18:07:00.001-05:00

Taskmaster sent these to me recently as we conversed over text. I was "floored"... get it?

The most shocking part about these pictures is not the state of the room, or the floors, or anything like that. No, this here is evidence that Itinerant engaged in manual labour for me! That my friends is true sign that he loves me!

As an added bonus, these photos do a nice job of giving us a bit more to go on for the "before photos" with regard to how the office used to look.

Why couldn't I have outsourced this!?

I'm told that the title of this photo is "All for you".

Random Finds in Toronto #26: Equality for All!

2011-03-02T18:02:00.001-05:00

Stumbled upon this amazing parking ... uh... gaff? on my way home from work. I can't help but wonder: "What is the point of this handicapped parking in the middle of nowhere that is connected to nothing?" I guess they have the right to park in an empty lot just like the rest of us...

Itinerant's weakness

2011-03-01T22:29:00.001-05:00

Though he may know a lot about how to host a party ( more on that coming up), I'd say it is clear that Itinerant hasn't quite mastered the concept of a shoe rack.

Will any amount of lighting make him happy?

2011-02-28T00:59:00.001-05:00

So very, very sad. It's hard when you want to sleep and your boyfriend wants to take photos!

Itinerant's new chandelier

2011-02-28T00:57:00.002-05:00

A quick shot of Itinerant's valentine chandelier... Fully installed.

Random Finds in Toronto #25: Posting Irregularity

2011-02-26T14:12:00.001-05:00

Itinerant found this while out in the city today.

I was talking to him on the phone and he just stopped dead in mid-sentence completely losing track of what he was talking about. I was at first critical, but I think I get it now...

As he said, "Why don't they just call them kaka cookies? Poo pleasures? Movement makers?" Any other suggestions?

Samurai are cool!

2011-02-23T23:46:00.001-05:00

Even when half the fight is computer generated, samurai are cool. In this case, it's one half of a stage play! I think this was pretty well crafted. Colour me impressed.

Kids is Tiiiiiight!

2011-02-22T15:44:00.001-05:00

Dang! Whatever I was doing at 8, it wasn't this friggin' cool.

And when I was 10, I was perhaps doing poetry in front of small audiences... but nothing like this:

Course that's nothing to this little guy (sorry for making you watch Perez TV, it's the only place I could find this):

Evidently he has a very full schedule being a cat-lady on Japanese variety shoes... It gets weirder and weirder!

Did geeks used to be MORE awkward?

2011-02-18T12:51:00.004-05:00

Stumbled upon this ad today. Be prepared for a high amount of awkward in these tech ads from yesteryear.

Brand new pillows

2011-02-13T21:59:00.001-05:00

Itinerant and I went shopping this weekend and seemed to have lost our minds! We walked into Home Sense and walked out with a selection of pillows that I never thought we'd own. There's faux fur, cloth anemone fingers and a shiny weave. How can that be bad?

Check out the new bit of fun that's in our basement!

Javier Lawlor Office Redux!

2011-02-05T19:07:00.000-05:00

This year for x-mas I received the best present I've ever gotten in my life!

When I went away to SK, Itinerant gutted my office and remodeled it. It was so unexpected that we didn't even get before photos!

Of course Itinerant couldn't bring my office to me in SK so he brought a puzzle for me to assemble instead. The puzzle was a metaphor for the state of the office.

I couldn't fit your present in my luggage so I got you a foam puzzle...

It was made from a piece of interlocking floor foam of the kind that you find in gyms everywhere. From that, Itinerant cut various pieces to form a 9 piece puzzle. I set to work...

Perhaps the 6 year old should be helping me?

Sadly a 9 piece puzzle is beyond my ken. Itinerant soon lost patience and had to show me what the outside edge was. Soon after that I had it assembled... and still didn't get it.

I don't understand what all these nouns are for.

Finally Itinerant had to explain to me what was going on. He had remodelled my office into a professional place to meet my clients! I'm told that my reaction was rather underwhelming, but quite frankly, I've never received anything of this magnitude before! I couldn't process what was going on. He's sold everything I had been working on and in and replaced it!

I've looked for what the room looked like before (a disaster) and have only been able to find these photos. They give you at least an idea of what the room used to look like.

The bedroom that was. Note the carpet, blue walls, and ugly shelves.

Sadly, the moon and star stencils aren't visible in this shot.

After we got back in January, we had some assembly to finish (hence why the puzzle was a metaphor). We zipped off to Jamaica and left the new floors to dry. And, just this week a painting that my good friend Storyteller did arrived to complete the room. I've finally taken photos and uploaded them. So, without further ado, Javier Lawlor's new office!

A name plate!

The view as you enter the room.

My desk with my degrees from Queen's.

A chair for clients.

Put your feet up, perhaps?

Stylish fun with my camera.

Perhaps you'd like to be a client here? :P

Is there anything better than grainy black and white? I swear it makes me so happy.

A new storage bin, including hanging files in the lower drawer.

The blank wall will soon be filled with my graffiti photos.

A detail of the wallpaper wall.

The candy-gloss sideboard reflects the wallpaper!

The footstool can be stored under the sideboard to save room.

My very first piece of art! From Brooke Graham!

Check it out in black and white. The painting is called "We are Windows" (if I'm not mistaken).

Jamaica slideshow

2011-02-02T00:06:00.000-05:00

For Tbor and MPrez's wedding in Jamaica I assembled a little slideshow. It was played at their reception on the weekend. I thought I would share in here while I finish editing all the photos to put into my own slideshows.

Extra Fun in Saskatchewan

2011-02-02T00:03:00.000-05:00

That's meant to be said as a rhyme. Anyway, check out the additional slideshow of photos from SK whereupon we shoot boxes, see art and just generally have fun. I may have eaten a face meltingly good cookie in there too.

X-mas trip to SK

2011-02-01T23:47:00.001-05:00

This year for X-mas I finally managed Itinerant to come to SK. We brought his sister Hostess and LL Bean with us! Invading Big Momma's house it was a week of chaos and fun. Hopefully the photos tell the story well enough!

In other news... fat people get fatter

2011-01-19T13:08:00.001-05:00

Oh Starbucks, you didn't. You're the 7-11 Pepsi combo of today.

Cats are Funny

2011-01-19T09:49:00.001-05:00

I mean, obviously dogs are better, but I'm not sure that dogs produce quite as many funny videos as cats.

Here's the newest sweeping the nation:

Watch for the kick...

And then prepare yourself for dramatic kitteh:

Dude gets owned by an 8 year old

2011-01-04T22:15:00.001-05:00

Marlito send me this. I sayz, "HECK YES!"

Breakin'... especially when it's coming from a kid this good is always worth my time.

EMBED-Amazing 8 Year Old Owns Adult In Dance-Off - Watch more free videos

A New Take On Christmas Carols

2010-12-14T19:40:00.000-05:00

My friend Storyteller recently posted this amazing xmas carol for all to witness.

Shortly thereafter I was made aware of this through Dr. Fantastic's Twitterfeed. Both are clearly representative of the spirit we need to hold dear during the holidays.

Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy with Will Ferrell & John C. Reilly from Will Ferrell

What are your favourite bad carols?

Solar Powered Animals!

2010-12-09T15:26:00.000-05:00

Okay first we discovered that dolphins teach each other tricks for fun (meaning that learning isn't passed on for a particular purpose) and then it was announced that a new form of life has been discovered that uses arsenic as part of its basic building blocks (instead of phosphorus like everything else on the planet), and now they've discovered that insects can be solar-powered? It's been a crazy couple months for animals and science!

Happy Holidays begins!

2010-12-08T20:52:00.000-05:00

I just got my first holiday card, which means that it's officially holiday season. Also, it just snowed outside this week and the holiday rush (what the eff!?) has begun at work. All craziness that I did NOT see coming. Oh me...

Anyway, the holiday card was pretty rad, so I thought I would share it. Santa seemed to know so much!

If I made music videos...

2010-12-06T01:50:00.002-05:00

Now I can't be 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure this is what I would make if I could make music videos for a living. This was righteous!!

New Investigations On Why We Can't Go Straight

2010-12-02T00:02:00.000-05:00

I thought that the closing comment in this surprisingly interesting video about human navigation was funnier than it was intended. "Nobody has figured out why we can't go straight."

One more reason to love Pixar

2010-11-22T22:59:00.000-05:00

They recently released an "It Gets Better" video.

I sure wish these had been around when I was a teenager.

New Gertrudes Video: Warm Wind From the South

2010-11-21T23:40:00.000-05:00

They just keep making magic as far as I'm concerned!

Check out their newest spell:

THE GERTRUDES - Wind From The South from Mitch Fillion (southernsouls.ca) on Vimeo.

Why I Stumble

2010-11-19T13:46:00.002-05:00

I just got my weekly update from StumbleUpon. If you're not using it, you really should. Every week I get an email sent to me with tittilating and unexpected websites that are tuned to my likes and dislikes. There's been many a random treasure sent my way...

Anyway, today's discovery was full of useful apps and "hacks" for YouTube users. I can't wait to try them out! I'm really interested to see if I can make an xmas video playlist for the holidays this season!

Check it out!

You are a Douchebag!

2010-11-17T20:19:00.002-05:00

People need to make more videos like this.